Fallen Angel
by Kyla LockHeart
Summary: Izzy B IS faced with her past after a fatal crash after seven years of running. She is haunted in her dream's with a life she can;t have back and enlightened by the life she ran into. Even as A mess she fixes the lives around her as they fix her.
1. Chapter 1

I sat in front of this huge house that held no particular memories for me but yet still meant very much to me. It seemed to extend further then the naked eye could see. There were all kinds of cars parked along the drive way, An Austin Martin, Rolls Royce, BMW, a Lamborghini and Some crazy ass car that I had never seen before. I took in a deep breath drumming my fingers against my steering wheel debating on just turning around and going back home with my head hanging low. I jumped hearing a loud thump against my window, I looked over to see a damn rent a cop signaling to roll my window down; I rolled my eyes at him hesitating to roll it down.

"Can I help you sir?" I asked knowing I was parked on privet property and he was going to tell me to leave.

"No, But you can help me. You do realize this is privet property, No star gazing aloud. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He said trying sound professional but come on who takes a rent a cop serious? I don't know a single person who does myself included.

"Well I'm not 'star gazing'" I said using air quotes mocking him. "This is actually my father's house." I said taking the first step into what I had hoped to be a new life.

"Mr. Tremaine does not have a daughter miss." The rent a cop said UN amused, with a hint of boredom.

"Well call him and ask him if he would like to see Isabella Tremaine his one and only daughter. If he says no I'll gladly leave." I said looking back at the house again almost hoping he would say go to hell, I deserved it after all. The security guard thought about it for a minute.

"I'll have to ask for some identification before I make that call." He seemed unconvinced. I reached for my purse looking throw my wallet for my ID. I handed it over to him seeing someone pulling out of the house in the purple Lamborghini. The security guard was in the booth in front of the house gates, I watched as the drivers slowly passed by looking at me throw dark sunglasses before speeding off down the long windy privet road. I laid my head back couching myself on breathing, in throw the nose out throw the mouth, in throw the nose out throw the mouth.

"Mr. Tremaine will be out shortly, He would like to see you in person before allowing you on the property." The security guard said handing me my id. I nodded looking at the house seeing the huge wood door fly open and slam shut. Shit he was pissed, shit I would be too if I were him. He practically ran down the drive way, I quickly looked in my review mirror to check my makeup and hair to make sure I didn't look like I had been up for five days straight and hoping the California sun gave me some color so I wasn't pale from not eating. I heard the black steal gates begin to creep open, I opened my car door feeling a bit light headed I stepped out unwillingly look over at my now older looking father.

"Isabella, My little girl, my angel is that really you?" He called out squeezing throw the gate, running toward me.

"It's me daddy." I said feeling moister slid down my cheek from crying. I whipped my stray tears away just before he caught my in a huge hug swinging me around like I was five years old.

"Baby, where have you been, oh my god look at you, you're all grown up now." He sat me down on my feet looking me over. I nodded unable to talk due to the lump in my throat that threatened to unlock the flood gates of tears that I wouldn't be able to explain well enough for them not to expect anything. I looked up seeing a group of guys standing by the door watching us.

"Dad is it her!" I heard someone yell out walking slowly down to wear we stood. My dad nodded his head whipping his own tears away. Next thing I knew I was crushed in a chocking hug already knowing who it was. "Izzy!" He cheered in my ear squeezing me tighter.

"Em..Can't..Air.." I managed to chock out. Emmett let out an echoed booming laugh setting my down on my feet. This wasn't the reaction I had been hoping for, in all honesty I was hoping they would tell me to fuck off and send me on my way so meeting up with James wouldn't be so hard.

"Come on lets go inside, I can't believe your here, do you have any idea how long we have looked for you?" My dad said taking my car keys from me. "Brandon park her car for me." He said as Emmett wrapped his arm around my neck bringing me to a playful chock hold messing my hair up. I punched his gut, or at least I tried to, he was rock hard now, what ever happened to the gut that used to suck in my punches? I giggled at the memory as we walked up the drive way. I pushed and pulled trying to break loose from his grip.

"Sorry Sis I'm just glad to see your ass, I missed you." He said resting his cheek on the top of my head, letting my out of the head lock. I had almost forgot that it had been seven years since I had last seen my brother and father because they acted like I had went to a friend's house for only a weekend. They didn't cuss me out for leaving them the way I did, they didn't seem to hate me the way I wished they did, they only seemed to love me welcoming me back into their life like I hadn't completely shattered their worlds. We walked into the house were a group of guys were all talking amongst themselves laughing throwing shit at one another.

"Listen up fuckers, this is Isabella, My baby girl, my life, my world, my precious angel, she is finally home." My dad said pulling me to his side, I kept a smile on my face thinking how in no way was I an angel, I wonder what he would say if he knew his Angle was in fact responsible for the death of an innocent man.

"Yeah yeah we get it dad, she is the golden child." Emmett laughed gently pushing me.

"HI guys, you can just call me Izzy B" I said giving a shy smile along with a small wave. I blushed at the gawking stares from the guys who suddenly grow quite.

"Wow Jeff, Who knew your disgusting little solders, could produce true beauty!" I laughed looking at the floor while Johnny Knoxville taunted my dad. I knew exactly who these guys were, I may not have been around but I was a fan of my daddies work. He was easy to keep tabs on considering he was a popular MTV Director/ writer.

"Hey man that my sister!" Emmett said sitting up straight.

"What? I was being nice; did you want me to say the truth? Your sister is a hot piece of ass." He stopped and looked at me. "No offense." He winked looking back at Emmett. "And I want her to have my babies." All the guys laughed except my dad and Emmett. I smirked looking at the ground. "I'm Johnny by the way." He said holding his hand out for me to shack.

"**Yeah I know you guys, Your Johnny Knoxville, And your Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Ryan Dunn, Erin McGhee, Dave England, Preston Lacy, Wee Man aka Jason. I have seen your shows and movies, have you washed your hands today? Just saying I have seen the things you do." I smiled pointing them all out before shaking his hand. Everyone laughed surprised at my smartass comment** "**SO you stalk us huh" Emmett laughed out taking a sip of his beer. ** "**No I just checked on you guys every now and then." I answered honestly looking back at my dad, He was no longer smiling he was looking me over with a concerned look that only a father would have. ** "**You hungry sweetie?" He asked looking me up and down, I saw the wheels start to turn in his head making me panic a little.** "**Ugh no I ate before I got here. Thanks though." I said standing awkwardly feeling like everyone was staring at me. ** "**Have a seat Izzy B; tell us about your life, since you already know about all of ours." Emmett said pointing over the empty couch. I cleared my throat walking over to the couch avoiding eye contact. I didn't know where to start so I sat quietly as an uneasy silence creped over all of us. ** "**Well as lovely as this family reunion is I think we should be going, got lots to do tomorrow." Johnny stood up along with the other guys.** "**Yeah that probably a good idea." Emmett said kicking his feet up on the coffee table eying me as he took another sip of Beer. Ok maybe they were mad at me. I eyed the door ready to make a break for it but my dad stood between me and the door, there was no way around it. The guys all said good-bye before leaving me alone with my Brother and father. ** "**So, how have you been?" My dad asked sitting on the same couch as Emmett across from me. ** "**Good." I answered to quickly not looking at him. ** "**I'm still your dad; I can still tell when you're lying." He said simple not taking his eyes off me for a second. I knew I would be questioned and yet I didn't prepare myself. ** "**Izzy are you in trouble or something?" Emmett asked now paying closer attention to me. I shook my head no feeling a lump rise in my throat. "Well don't take this wrong but seven years ago you said you hated us both, you said once you were gone you would never come back, and here you are, I'm glad but forgive me for having my suspicions." Emmett said almost sounding ashamed of himself looking down at the carpet. ** "**Sweetie, I wanted nothing more than for you to come home, but would you mind explain why now." MY dad said reading me like a book, but the wrong book, he read me as his angle not the devil I have become. ** "**I made a mistake in leaving, it took me seven years but I see that now, I don't plan on staying I'll be gone by the morning I just wanted to see you guys." I said lying throw my teeth, yes I missed them, but I still don't think it was a mistake in leaving, I was miserable then. I whipped my tears away before they could fall. ** "**Why are you leaving again you just got here?" Emmett stood up but spoke softly. ** "**I don't want you guys to think I'm here for anything other than to see my dad and brother." I lied again knowing damn well why I was here; I was here to run away from my problems, run away from the evil glares, and the taunting whispers. ** "**We don't think that. We are just curious, we want you here, please stay awhile." My dad said standing with Emmett. Shit I was already being trapped in by them, Shit, I knew I shouldn't have came, why didn't I drive passed the damn house.** "**Maybe a few days." I whispered knowing I was deceiving them, something they didn't deserve. I was playing off them hoping the outcome would be to have me stay here. I think, shit I wasn't sure what I was doing exactly, I wanted to be home with them but at the same time I wanted to be with James, my plan was to be with him, to come say good-bye and join him hoping he would forgive me. ** "**Let me show you the guest room, you can stay here as long as you want Angel this is your home too." My dad said moving toward the stairs. I went to my car grabbing the little clothes I had packed and head up to the guest room the was poorly decorated with plan white walls, A twin bed with some cheap light blue sheets and no comforter. I sat my bags down looking around at the few pictures around the room of my dad with random people doing stupid things. ** "**Dad went to go you a comforter, the one in this room got puked on last night." I jumped dropping a picture of my dad and Brad pit taking a shot. ** "**Eww, um ok, thanks." I stumbled over my words bending down to pick up the picture. ** "**You look like hell when was the last time you slept?" Emmett said letting himself in the room. I sighed taking a seat on the bed.** "**I drove straight here, I slept about an hour or two since Sunday." I answered honestly really trying to keep my eyes open. ** "**You do realize it Wednesday right, that almost three days. And where did you drive from?" He asked leaning against the oak dresser. If only he knew I hadn't slept since last Monday I wonder what he would say to that.** "**Tacoma Washington." I asked yawning covering my mouth, Emmett raised an eye brow at me obviously wanting to ask me just what the fuck I was doing out there but decided against it. Instead he pushed me back on the bed. ** "**Why don't you take a nap, I'll make dinner." He said sighing as he got to the door looking back at me. "Sis it's good to have you home, Dad really missed you, I mean I did to, but he took you leaving really hard, if you don't decide to stick around this time try being a little nicer about it." He walked out not letting me say anything shutting the door behind him. I laid there with my eyes closed really to drained to move, different memories of my childhood flashed by, memories of times I had completely forgotten about, not bad times, actually happy times, It was weird how I blocked out all the good times but carried the bad times with me at all times, I actually had myself convinced that they were the worst two people alive what kind of shit is that when all they wanted to do was protect me from destroying myself witch I managed to do anyway. I laid there dead tired but yet to afraid to sleep, if I woke up screaming bloody murder they would know that something big was defiantly up, I tried everything I could think of to escape the nightmares but had no luck, maybe I had drained myself enough to where I wouldn't dream, I prayed that was what the case was considering Sleep took over me paralyzing me to the point where I couldn't fight it anymore even if I wanted to. ** **When I woke up there was a blanket thrown over me and my heels were off. I was curled up in ball on the bed. I looked around for my phone seeing the sun still up I figured I sleep an hour or so. I sat up looking at my phone confused, I had feel asleep at around 3:30, and my phone said it was almost 10:30 am now. I got up opening the room door here faint laughs from down stairs. I looked down at my phone again counting the hours I had sleep, shit almost nineteen hours, fuck, how the hell did I manage that? I grabbed some clothes going to find the bathroom were I took a quick shower, once I did my hair and make-up I walked down stairs and into the kitchen where I was surprised seeing Johnny and Bam Margera another Jaskass guy who wasn't here yesterday. ** "**HIYA IZZY B!" Johnny smile wide waving at me, I stood there looking around a bit confused. I waved looking around the kitchen figuring they were up to no good. "Have you Meet Bam?" He said pointing over at Bam who was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. ** "**Um no we haven't met." I said looking at bam trying to figure out why he was staring at me. Bam slightly shook his head and smiled at me. "I'm Jeff's daughter." I said looking away from him. ** "**Oh Yeah, Jeff had a daughter yesterday when you left." Johnny said jumping on the counter picking up an apple taking a bit of it then spitting it out. ** "**Dumb ass." Bam laughed looking at Johnny then back to me. "Emmett has told me about you before, you don't look as innocent as he made you out to be," Bam said looking me up and down, I rolled my eyes feeling myself get defensive. ** "**Were is my Brother anyway?" I looked around the kitchen expecting some lion or something to come walking around the corner. ** "**Your brother is at the office at work and your dad is shooting a skit with Fat boy and wee man." Johnny laughed looking over at me. I took in a deep breath looking around again decided it was safe I walked over to the fridge taking out the orange juice. ** "**So you guys are just hanging out here because?" I asked pouring a glass; I put the carton back looking at the guys. Bam was looking at me smiling, Johnny was biting on his fist not saying anything, and ok they are definitely weirder in person. I brought the glass to my lips.** "**Wait ok don't" Johnny yelled out taking the glass from me. "I ugh wouldn't eat or drink anything in the house." He said chuckling dumping the glass out. ** "**What did you do?" I asked already laughing. ** "**We um, well injected everything with the world's hottest hot sauce." Johnny said pulling out a needle from the trash and taking a bottle from Bam. I started to laugh thinking this might be interesting to watch. Maybe I won't leave tonight.** "**Is there anything safe to eat?" I said surprised by how hungry I really was. ** "**No, but I didn't know you were staying cause I got the impression you were planning on leaving with the look you had when Em asked about your life, so how about I take you to eat to make it up, fucking up all this food made me hungry anyway." I thought about it for a few seconds not sure if I should trust them. ** "**Ah come on, you got to eat sometime, why not with to famous movie stars." Bam said grabbing my wrist pulling me toward the door. "Fuck it you know what we are kid napping you" He said looking back at Johnny to follow. I looked at Bam shrugging my shoulders deciding to go with it. He smiled wide tugging me to the purple Lamborghini. "Get in." He simply said opening the driver car door. ** "**Hmm how about you let me drive this sexy bitch." I said giving him a seductive smile, licking my bottom lip. Bam pulled his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose. ** "**Are you crazy?" He looked at me, and then pulled his sunglasses of all the way. "Is she crazy?" He asked Johnny who had an ear to ear grin. ** "**You might say that I am but you're crazy to, let me drive." I walked over to the driver side. Bam started to wildly laugh at me. ** "**Ok I'll tell you what you name one thing about this car that has nothing to do with looks and I'll let you drive." He said already getting in the car lucky for me, my boyfriend was a car nut who forced information down my throat so I always knew what I was dealing with, sadly for Bam Lambo's were my dream car and I learned all about them on my own.**

"**Oh** you mean other than its4,961 cc 5.0 liters V 10 mid engine with 82.5 mm bore, 92.8 mm stroke, 11.0 compression ratio, double overhead cam. Or how about its dick Harding variable valve timing/camshaft and four valves per cylinder?" I questioned reaching my hand out for the keys Johnny was climbing in the back dying of laughter. Bam raised his eyebrow at me.

"How do you know all that?" He asked eyeing me carefully holding in his smile.

"My boyfriend is a car nut." I laughed trying to take the keys but he grasped on to my hand.

"Have you ever driven one before?" He asked ask as I pulled my hand away with the keys in my position.

"Nope but I'm about to." I smirked going past him getting in waiting for him to get in.

We started down the drive way slowly as I adjusted my seat and mirror, I fixed my hair putting my sun glasses on, Bam choose a song that I happened to love, It was Poison girl by H.I.M. He sat back as I waited for the gates to open, As soon as they were open wide enough I hit the gas peeling out speeding off down the street. Bam was watching me curiously; Johnny was bracing himself in the back. I looked over at Bam stopping at the stop sign winking over at him singing along to the song.

"The fire in her eyes, grew dim and then died, as the poison inside, reached her heart." I looked back at Johnny who was texting on his phone then back at Bam. "Ok so I'm not from around here you got tell me where to go." I laughed at his shocked expression.

"Turn right." He said narrowing his eyes at me with a look like he just didn't understand me, then shrugging it off before beginning to play air guitar and rock out next to me as I speed down the road weaving in and out of cars taking over the road. I turned were he pointed loving the power of the car, loving the speed, I wanted to just hit the gas and go for it but I couldn't not with them in the car. Finally we reached a small restaurant that Johnny had picked out. As soon as Johnny stepped out he dropped to the ground dramatically kissing the ground. Bam kicked him in the gut laughing as we walked into the restaurant.

We were all quite as we were seated until Johnny stared to laugh handling me his phone. "What, who is it?" I said taking the phone reading a text.

(What do you mean she kid napped you and wants shopping money for ransom? You know what take her shopping don't let her leave I want her to stay, Buy her whatever she wants don't let her go any were, Kidd Napped you, Don't you think you could of came up with something better Knoxville?) I handed him his phone back looking away.

"What should I say?" He said handing the phone to Bam who laughed out loud reading the text.

"Looks like you're getting a lambo!" Bam said giving the phone to Johnny.

"Just tell him I'm not leaving today." I said looking at Bam stare at me again; he looked away when he noticed me looking at him, he looked out the window rubbing the back of his neck as the waitress came over for our order. Once we told her what we wanted I was looking down at the table feeling bad for my dad, even his text seemed desperate not to lose me again, I started to get hot so I pulled my Jacket off.

"Wow, you had some nice work done. Where did you get them?" I looked up at him in shock, not knowing where that came from, Bam looked at me confused by my reaction, and I looked down at my chest and giggled.

"There real, if I was going to get fake tits I would get them bigger." I said as Johnny covered his mouth trying not to laugh.

"I ugh… that's cool, but I was talking about your tats." Bam said turning a slight shade of pink. I looked down at my arms forgetting they hadn't seen my tattoo's yet because I didn't want to shock my dad with it yesterday. I wore a thin back long sleeve shirt to hide them, with jeans, not my most sexiest look but I didn't want to shock them with all my work at once.

"Oh." I stiffed a laugh. "Thanks, yeah my boyfriend did most of them, and the ones he didn't do a guy I know who has a shop did." I said watching as the admired my work.

"I mean don't get me wrong your tits are hot, but I'm married and I love Tat's on girls and your work fits you." Bam said throwing a wink my way.

"You married? Really Bam? You had to throw in your married?" Johnny laughed looking at me. "I think someone has a crush." Johnny laughed slapping his knee; Bam looked at me then to Johnny laughing. Bam punched Johnny on the shoulder.

"Dick, that's not what I meant." Bam seemed a little embarrassed, his eyes fluttered around while he mumbled something to low for me to hear.

"I thought you and Missy were divorcing, not true I guess?" I said feeling a little uncomfortable, mostly because it hadn't even hit me that I was out with two guys and James was insanely jealous, protective of me, he would be beating the shit out of these two if he were here. I looked around the restaurant, like if he would just magically appear, he had no idea where I was and he probably hated me so much he wouldn't even care. My heart sorrowed in pain as I looked down at the plate of food that was set down in front of me; I suddenly lost my apatite looking for an escape to ease the pain.

"You're not going to eat?" Bam asked pointing at my plate with his fork and mouth full of food. I looked at the food then over to him.

"Ugh I ugh, I need to use the restroom." I said standing up grabbing my purse. Johnny nodded in back of me to wear the ladies room was. I couldn't get out of there fast enough; I went into a restroom stall slamming it shut. I sat down shuffling throw my purse until I found my pained heart antidote, I pulled out the small 2"x4" plastic baggy, holding it up to the light glad that I picked up what I called dream dust because thanks to this stuff my nightmares seemed to be blown away to a place that I didn't have to revisit them in before I headed out here. I pulled out my compact mirror setting up a line on it before putting my hair up in messy bun, I bent over plugging one side of my nose sniffing the Dream dust with the other side forcing out all my hurt, my pain and my appetite away. I sat there relived feeling all the bad things slowly being numbed. I ran my finger along the mirror picking up the left over specks running it along my gums just because I liked how it felt. I took a minute clearing my mind before getting my stuff fixing my hair in the mirror making sure everything was in place and all the evidence was gone. "Ok you good to go." I said adjusting my shirt so my tits peeked out a little more deciding to have a little fun, Hey James wasn't here a little flirting never hurt anyone.

I walked back out taking my seat with a smile on my face watching the guys devour there food. I played around with mine hoping they didn't take notice of the fake bits I was taking.

"SO what are we going to do, we should do something, what do you guys normally do Wait don't answer that." I laughed feeling my heart rate speed up. Bam and Johnny looked at each other laughing.

"I don't know you kid napped us, instead of us kid napping you so I guess it's up to you" Johnny said amused looking up at me.

"Speaking of witch, can I have my keys?" Bam mumbled with his mouth full of fires. I smirked at him holding he keys up then dropping them down my shirt in my bra between my breast that I kept catching both boys looking at.

"You said I could drive, and you didn't say for how long or just to the restaurant so today it's my car." I smirked looking at Bam in pride and victory; he wouldn't dare reach down my shirt would he? Shit I'd like to see him try, well not try I just want to see him do it, wait shit no I don't I have a boyfriend who is good to me, Nothing physical Izzy, He is married even if it was to a tramp, and you have a man, a good man.

"AHHHHHAHHHHaaaahahahahahaha oh my god I love this girl!" Johnny blurted out laughing as Bam's smile slowly faded. I think I could like being around these guys, no rules apply with them, Maybe I would meet up with James a later day, he might be pissed but he will get over it like he always does, he was always mad at me but always got over it because he loved me and he knew I would never do anything to really hurt him, like cheat on him, Maybe I should stay away from Bam, he seems to be testing my temptation level even if it was just a little.

"So you're ganna need a box for that right Izzy B?" Bam asked looking at my plate noticing it was still full. I nodded at him looking at Johnny who looked at my plate cocking his head to the side. He looked up at me opening his mouth but then shut it deciding on not saying anything to me witch I was thankful for considering I didn't have a good enough excuse just yet.

**.**


	2. Chapter 2

We ended up going to Steve-o's house, Johnny said something about Beer pong and I was all for it, although I will have to make them step up their game on this one. Bam seemed ok with me driving, even if he was sulking about it. Maybe he isn't used to being out smarted, he better get used to it because if I was good at anything it was out smarting people and manipulating people into getting what I want. When we pulled up to the house that Bam pointed out Dunn was standing outside with Steve-o saying good bye to some girl.

"Holy shit, Bam is she driving the Lambo?" Ryan more commonly known as Dunn shouted out walking toward us. I laughed as Bam turned back to look at me I dropped the keys in my shirt again winking over at him; He sighed and looked back at Dunn.

"Yeah, she won a stupid bet." Bam said shutting his car door; Johnny laughed putting an arm around my neck pointing at me.

"Stupid? He is just mad this girl knows her cars, she made Bam's balls shrivel up with all her dick swinging car talk, She is a firecracker this one is." Johnny said as we walked towards the house.

"I'm sure Bam knows all that stuff about the Lambo, what idiot would buy something he didn't know anything about." I said in his defense. "Just remember one thing Bam, next time you bet me think about it, I'm no ordinary girl." I taunted him walking passed him feeling completely at ease around the guys. It wasn't awkward or hard to find something to talk about with them. Then again it could be the Dream dust talking, speaking of which I need to find a bathroom.

"Missy doesn't even get to drive the Lambo." Dunn said laughing at Bam slapping him on the back.

"Missy doesn't drive it because the one time she did she fucked my clutch up, I had to replace it, that shit coast almost as much as the damn car." I heard Bam mumble from behind me.

"Welcome to my castle!" Steve-o said throwing his arms up as I took in the thrashed bachelor house. I looked around laughing to myself, yeah he may need a woman in his life, and this was sort of gross. "So Johnny says you drove the shit out of the Lambo where did you learn how to drive because your dad drive like the old fart he is, and Emmett drives with care to afraid to ruin his car." Steve-o asked opening a beer jumping on his couch and stretching his legs out.

"My boyfriend taught me awhile back, we used to go to different street races." I answered half honest, Yes James taught me, yeah we went to street races, I just left out the part about stealing the cars and running from the cops. I figured that was information better keep to myself, I wouldn't want them worried that I was here to steal from them. Shit if someone told me they stole cars for a living and I had the cars they did I would think about what their intentions really were.

"Want a beer Izzy?" Dunn asked from the kitchen, I smiled in relief next to my dream dust alcohol was my best friend.

"Fuck yeah, I would love a beer, anyone want to shot gun one with me." I said rubbing my hands together walking to the kitchen to get the beer from Dunn.

"Are you trying to get fucked up?" Dunn laughed handing the bud light over to me.

"Why else drink if you're not going to get fuck'ed up?" I laughed looking over my shoulder at the other three guys talking looking over at me. "You guys are doing it right?" I called out as Dunn handed me a few more beers for them.

"Fuck yeah I like your thinking." Steve-o jumped up taking a beer from me. Bam smirked at me taking the beer and Johnny smiled at me shaking his head as he pulled his keys out to make the holes. We all sort of gathered in a circle waiting for everyone to be ready to suck down a beer.

"Alright on my count, 1..2…-"I didn't let Dunn finish count I popped open my beer and started to let the cold beer slid down my throat, I was a little too anxious and jumped up and down with a hand in the air as I sucked the beer out finishing before the guys did, Bam finished second, followed by Dunn.

"You are a fucking cheater." Dunn said taking my now empty can from me.

"What? Who counts down? Just say go and do what you do best...Suck" I laughed while Dunn narrowed his eyes at me holding back his smirk.

"Were going to need more beer...you" Dunn said before pointing at me. "Rematch you and me miss I'm a girl so I can suck better then you!" He said determined to out drink me, I laughed throwing my head back, I drink all day everyday for a girl I had a high tolerance. Beer rarely gets me drunk; I'm more of a liquor girl.

"Bring it on sucker."

We pounded more than half of the thirty pack. Dunn and I were in computation with every beer we drank. I was having a great time just hanging out talking about absolutely nothing important. I didn't have to think about the reality of my life, I didn't have to worry about what lies I was making up, all we did was bullshit and make fun of each other. It was actually really relaxing, until a mass about of people showed up, girls were running around naked and Guys were beating on each other. I was glad to have Bam sort of stick by my side, Johnny checked on me a lot too. I stuck around the beer pong table playing against random people, Bam played with me most of the time, I was having a good time until my last dream dust line was staring to wear off me, I began to feel like the grey cloud was forming over my head, I can't really explain how my body felt other than it was crawling with need. I was getting anxious and irritated.

I didn't say anything I walked away without being noticed, I looked around seeing the house getting trashed, I weaved throw people, ducked cover from flying light fixtures, and waited in line to use the rest room. I looked back behind me at the wild party wishing I would have drove me own car so I could leave, I really wasn't in the mood to party. Party means to let loose, to celebrate, what did I have to celebrate about? Finally it was my turn to use the thrashed restroom, god it even smelt like piss. I might have to do him a favor and clean for him, this can't be too healthy. I thought as I set up a few lines hoping they would pump me up a little to get more in the party mood.

I almost forgot I was the restroom that had a huge line waiting outside until someone started to knock on the door, no not knock bang franticly. I pushed everything in my purse before opening the restroom door to Bam standing there with a worried look on his face.

"Are you ok?" He asked worried looking me up and down then behind me into the restroom. I looked back hoping I didn't forget my baggie or something.

"I'm fine why?" I asked in a rush of words, feeling my heart pound against my chest. The rush hit me all at once making it almost hard to breath, I felt like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Can you two move I have to piss?" Some guy said from behind Bam. I moved to the side, the guy ran in slamming the door shut, Bam's eyes stayed on me.

"Come on." He said nodding to the back patio, I stepped in front of him as his hand found my lower back guiding my throw the crowd of people to the back patio were a few people stood smoking. "You sure your ok, you were in the restroom for awhile, what happen did you puke or something?" He asked taking his phone out texting. I started to laugh and shock my head.

"I don't throw up, I have never thrown up, I'm fine, I just needed a breather, a lot is going on in there." I said pointing inside were a naked girl ran buy with some guys chasing after her, followed by a loud crash and a lot of cheering.

"Yeah I know what you mean; this is calm for us too." Bam laughed leaning against the patio railing watching the madness unfold inside. "I would take you home but I'm too drunk to drive, and with as much as you drank you're not driving either." He said looking over at me but I was dazed looking at the sun setting behind the mountains.

"I don't want to go home. I really don't have a home to go to." I said honestly with a laugh, that one thing I hated about my dream dust, I couldn't lie as easily when I was hyped up off it.

"What do you mean?" He asked looking over at me then to the sun set.

"I mean if I leave where would I go? James isn't at home; if I went home it would only mean dealing with people running their mouths about dumb shit. I can hardly call my dad's house home; did they tell you what I did?" I asked not looking over at him as the awful memory raced back to me all at once.

"Nope all I know is Emmett says you had a hard time with your mom passing away and that's why you left." Bam said moving his arms back and forth on the railing like he was doing push-ups. I sighed looking over at him, why should I bore him anymore then he already looks? Besides I don't want to think about what I did, and I for damn sure didn't want to remember my mom dying.

"I need a drink!" I said with a smile to mask my pain, Bam stopped moving and looked at me curiously.

"How about I get us some drinks and we chill in my room? We can listen to music and talk." Bam said trying to be sweet but as sweet as he was I was a bitch.

"And what have our own party? I'm not that type of girl, I have a man, You have a wife." I let the words slowly drip out of my mouth, Bam eye's went wide as I started to walk away. Bam ran around to in front of me slightly pushing me back.

"First off my wife may not be as committed to me as I am to her but she is still my wife and I still don't cheat, I just thought maybe you need someone to talk to, I wasn't really feeling the party either, no need to jump to conclusions." Bam stiffed a laugh amused with my bitchyness. I crossed my arms looking to the side of me thinking about it for a minute.

"What do you get out of talking to me?" I asked still with attitude.

" Well besides get to know you hopefully get some advice from a person who isn't part of this insane group, they all same the same shit 'kill her or shut up' it would be nice to talk to a normal person who doesn't know Missy or hate her." He answered honestly trying to give me a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. I felt bad for him, to have to not only have a wife who cheats but to have to blown up in the media must be hard to deal with. " What do you have to lose from it?" He asked when I stood there just staring at him. I let out aloud sigh.

"Nothing , nothing at all, Lets go get some drinks." I gave in finding myself curious about him. Bam smiled wide at me taking my hand and pulling me to the kitchen where we made a drink and grabbed a few beers. We headed to a back room away from the rest of the house. " So you stay here?" I asked knowing he is only out here when they shoot.

"Yeah between here and Your dads." He answered opening the door to a room the I was surprised was kept neat and didn't smell to bad. Bam shut the door behind me muffling the screaming music. I looked around then turned back to Bam.

"Your cleaner then Steve-o" I laughed taking a seat on the chair by the computer desk. Bam laughed sitting on the bed taking a drink.

"Yeah well just because I'm wild and crazy on TV dosen't mean I'm that crazy all the time." Bam said grabbing a pillow and leaning back propping himself up.

"What does that have to do with being clean?" I started to laugh turning on his lap top to put some music on.

"Fuck nothing, I guess, I'm a little drunk." He admitted laughing watching me look for his music. "So you like Him huh?"

"Him who?" I said not thinking just looking for a particular song.

"H.I.M the band?" He laughed sitting up.

"Oh yeah I love them, they have the best songs, always have one for every situation I'm in." I said not looking back at Bam, I was stupid to think I could play this song and not get emotional, I didn't even think about it I hit play. The acoustic version of Please don't let it go by H.I.M began to play. I started to sing along completely forget Bam was in the room, I forgot I wasn't back home in my room, I let my tears fall freely not able to stop the pain this time. " We're drifting apart ,But I want you to know, Wherever you are I belong , Love's singing our song , But we fail to sing along ,Wherever you go I will follow." I mouth staring at the coupluter screen but really off into a different universe. I jumped feeling a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Bam looking down at me with sorry eyes, like he felt my pain, it was like he knew what I was feeling.

"You want to talk about it?" He asked softly keeping his eyes on me. I shook my head changing the song not even looking at witch one I picked.

"It doesn't matter cause in a few days I'll see him and it will all be fine." I said trying to smile at him masking what I was really thinking. I picked up my cup and drank from it trying to swallow my worries away.

"So wanna tell me about when you left? You have some balls to leave home at 15." Bam said sitting back down dropping the subject. I laughed thinking I didn't have Balls, I barrowed James balls to work up the courage to actually leave. That night was the horrible night, the look in my dads eyes while I screamed at him telling him I hated him when really I wanted ot get out of the house that I swore my mother haunted.

_Flash Back_

" _James I can't take it anymore, I hate it here, I swear she is her, I can feel her." I cried into the phone sitting on my bed Indian style looking around my room remembering when my mother and I had redecorated it a few months ago. _

"_I know babe, It's going to be hard. She loved you and if anything she is watching over you. Look why don't I go pick you up? Jacob is having a kick back at his house, will go have some fun." James said trying to cheer me up and I'd be lying if I said I didn't smile just a little. _

"_Ok I'll be ready in 15 minutes, you know were to meet me right?" _

"_Of course, just be quite and don't forget to make it look like your in bed. I love you baby." _

"_I know, and I love you to." I said hanging up the phone quitetly moving around in my room to my closet for a cute mini dress to wear. James is seventeen and the town bad boy. I keep him inline enough were he isn't in as much trouble he worries about me, and rather spend time with me then do all the stupid things he used to. It's been two weeks since we had to buriy my mother. Two weeks that seemed to be a life time to me. I refused to go to school, I wouldn't eat, I couldn't stand to be around my Dad and Brother, it's only been two weeks and they act like she never exsisted, Emmett was back in school, back to his normal routine, my dad was back at work and acted like if she had been dead for years and I should be over it by now. _

_I was just about done getting ready for meet James when I heard a light tapping on my door. I grabbed my rob and opened the door trying to look tired, Emmett stood there looking me up and down. _

"_Sis will you please try to eat?" He asked cocking his head to the side narrowing his eyes at me. _

"_No, I'm going to bed." I snapped trying to shut my door but he walked in pushing the door along with me open. He looked around looking back at me running his hand throw his hair. _

"_Were do you think your going?" He said in a whisper so my dad wouldn't over hear. _

"_To bed," I whispered back going to the door to let him out. _

"_Do I have dumb fuck written on my fore head?" He hissed shutting my door. "You don't think that I have used the pilliow trick a millions times on dad." He said taking my comforter off my bed._

"_You used it on mom to you know." I said pulling the blanket out of his hand. Emmett sighed looked back at me. _

"_Yeah I did, but that's not the point look your not going any were, your crazy if you think I'm really going to let you be with James of all people!" Emmett said yanking on my robe making it fall to the floor. His eyes went wide as he seen me standing in front of him in a short black strapless mini dress. I pulled at the sides to make it look longer. _

"_HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND" he growled at me so loud the whole house echokedI rolled my eyes knowing his just started world war three. _

"_You can't stop me from seeing him Emmett." I snapped dropping to the ground quickly grabbing my robe. So my dad wouldn't see what I had on. _

"_The hell I can't, I'll beat his stupid little ass." Emmett Said as my room door flew open._

"_What's going on in here." My dad said walking in concerned. _

"_Emmett is a Jerk." I said picking up my comforter tossing it on the bed. Emmett narrowed his eyes on me. _

"_Your daughter is dressed like a whore and is planning on sneaking out with the town retared!" Emmett's eyes never left me. _

"_Isabella, honey were you planning on sneaking out, that's not like you baby." My dad said coming to my side sounding shook. I'm a straight A student, class president I never talked back to my parents, I never snuck out and I always was on honor roll. _

"_No daddy." I said turning to look at him but as soon as I turned Emmett ripped my robe away from me once again. _

" _Liar!" Emmett yelled as I saw my dads heart break seeing my standing there barely cover. _

"_Isabella, what has gotten into you?" My dad asked in clear shook. I started to cry from out of no were. _

"_You have! Both of you have! You don't even care that mommy is gone! You act like she never exsisted!" I screamed throw my tears. _

"_That's not true, Izzy we are hurting too!" Emmett yelled back at me._

"_Emmett don't!" My dad warned him for yelling at me. _

"_Angel baby, I know you're hurting to but this is not how to cope with it by running around in …in….. what the hell is that anyway." He pointed at my dress. "Where did you even get that?" He said getting angry. _

"_Mommy bought it for me! James has been there for me, you both walk around like nothing happned, I love him he loves me. Emmett you can't stop us from being together." I sobbed screaming at Emmett. _

"_The hell I won't!" Emmett yelled getting in my face. "You're my baby sister and I wont let him bringyou down like this, your too good for this shit!" _

"_Emmett, Isabella knock it off, Isabella you are not going out, you will burn that rag you call a dress, Your 15 years old you are not allowed to have a boy friend!" My dad said throwing my robe at me. _

"_AHHHH I HATE YOU! I HAVE ALWAYS HATED YOU I WAS ONLY HAPPY WHEN MOMMY WAS AROUND, YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM BEING WITH JAMES HE IS MY SOULMATE." I screamed hitting my dads chest while he tried to hug me. "YOU KILLED MOMMY!" I yelled beating on him. _

"_SHUT UP ISABELLA, DAD DID KILL HER MOM DIED BECAUSE-"_

"_EMMETT!" My dad yelled now with his own tears _

"_MOMMY IS DEAD AND YOU DON'T CARE, YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HER YOU BOTH WALKED AROUND HER LIKE SHE DIDN'T EXSITS NOW SHE IS GONE AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!" I was screaming pushing and kicking my dad to let me go. "Just leave me alone please, just let me miss mommy in peace." I cried giving up my fight with him, I slumped down to the ground sobbing. _

"_Baby I'm sorry your hurting, I wish I could take the pain away." My dad said bending down to my level. _

"_I hate you, The first chance I get to leave I swear to god I'll never come back!" I mumbled as he got up to leave me alone. _

"_I'm sorry you feel that way." He said broken with sad eyes."Emmett come on son, leave her alone." _

"_Dad she was going to sneak out, I don't think leaving her alone is the best thing." Emmett said trying to be quite but I still heard him._

"_Fuck you Emmett." I said getting up whipping my tears away. Emmett glared at me, while my dads mouth dropped open, I have never cussed before not in my entire life had I cussed and in front of my dad no less. _

"_Fuck you Isabella Go be a whore I don't care." Emmett snapped as my dad pushed him out the door.I stood up grabbing my phone, the secret phone that James had gotten me so we could talk when ever we wanted. _

"_Baby were are you?" James answered the phone in a panic. _

"_I got into a fight with my dad and brother." I said starting to sob again. " I Hate it here." I said taking deep breaths throw my sobs. "They want to brake us up, Em wants to brake us up, he threatened to beat you up." I cried flopping down on my bed._

"_Fuck babe that shit won't happen guaranteed., ok listen my uncle lives up state maybe he will let us stay there for awhile, do you want to go baby? Just to get away for awhile?" He cooed trying not to sound stress or worried. _

"_Yes can we go tonight please, I don't want to be here anymore."_

"_Grab some clothes, I'll have to stop at Jacobs and get some stuff so we can make money, do you think you can sneak out in an hour baby?" _

"_Yes." I whispered looking toward my room door. _

"_Ok I'll be back in an hour, I love you it's you and me no matter what."_

"_ok I love you too." I hung up grabbing my overnight bag from under my bed this time being extra careful about being quite.I packed as much clothes as I could making sure I had my brush and make-up making sure I had everything I would need for just a few days. _

_I was waiting outside when James finally pulled up, he smiled wide as I jumped in his 76 Mustang. We took off scoot free with out another care in the world other then just taking the time to be together and to heal my broken heart. _

_End flash back._

"wow those were some harsh words." Bam said watching my as I spoke telling him my story.

"I don't get how they are happy to see me after that, I really was going to go home that weekend, we came back that Friday but no one was home, They weren't worried about were I was or what I was doing. They had forgot about me like they did with my mom, or at least that is what I thought back then, I grabbed some more clothes and we left again never looking back." I said leaning back on the chair I was in_. _I looked back at Bam who was staring at me yet once again. He stayed quite cracking open a beer looking at me like he wanted to say something, like he knew something but stayed quite.

" You know they love you, and Emmett talks a lot about you, they missed you, You should give them a chance to be a part of your life." Bam finally said tossing me a beer, I popped it open thinking it was too late for any of that. 

"So what did you need advice on?" I asked wanting to get the subject off of me.

"It's nothing really, actually, you know what forget about it." Bam said getting up and leaning over me to pick a different song, he put on some screaming metal on that I didn't care to much for.

"No bullshit, I told you about what happened with me and the fam now you tell me what you want to talk about." I said throwing a pen at him. Bam laughed catching it as it hit his chest.

"Owww." He said tossing it to the side looking at me then taking a deep breath. "So you heard about mine and Missy problem huh?" He asked unable to look at me like he was embarrassed with the situation. 

"All I hear was she supposedly cheated, and you said you would work it out with her, but then I also herd you couldn't get over it."

"Would you get over the fact that some other girl was all over your Boyfriend while you were out making money being faithful?" He asked a little defensive.

"Wow um ok, chill, no I wouldn't If I were you I would have left her ass, but that's just me. Why do you want to work on it if it bothers you so much?" I asked looking over at Bam covering his face with his hands sitting on the bed. I felt sorry for the guy to be honest, he looked torn like he didn't know wheather he was coming or going, I knew that feeling all too well.

"Fuck if I know, I mean I still love her, and I have put her throw hell and back." He said sounding broken lost, hurt and confused, All the things that have consumed me for the past month. " It fucking sucks, And shooting this damn show couldn't of come at a worst time all I wonder about is if she is fucking someone else. A summer of shooting used to be nothing but now each day that goes on I get more and more paranoid." I got up listening to him rant and what seemed like to internally fighting with himself. I sat next to him feeling like he needed to be comfort, I knew the guys weren't the best to help him deal with this, If anything they would taunt him about it.

I put an arm around his shoulder feeling bad for him. I didn't know what to say because as far as I am conserned I have never been cheated on, James adored me in every way possible. " I'm sorry don't know how it feels but I can relate to be torn in between letting go and hold on. It's hard to choose between the two, especially if your in love with that person. It's not easy to walk away." I said looking at the ground woundering if James would really forgive me the way I think he will. I mean once I get up there with him will he be glad to see me or will he tell me to go to hell? After all its my fault that we are heading down this road, I ruined all his plans.

"So You and Your boyfriend having rough time too?" Bam asked looking over at me with buzzed eyes. I nodded my head looking back at him giving him a weak smile. "Well I'm sure you will work it out, your too hot for him to just be done with you." Bam said as the door flew open, Johnny walked in covering his eyes.

"Izzy B Are you decent?" He asked trying to peek throw his fingers, I laughed looking over at Bam who looked like he wanted to kill johnny.

"Dick we were just talking." He said getitng up moving to the laptop. Johnny put his hand down.

"Oh good, ok well hey Jeff is making dinner and wants us to go home, Just remember don't eat anything." Johnny said laughing almost jumping up and down with excitement.

"Bam want me to drive?" I asked cause he was already slurring his words now and he was fisinshing my beer. I can drink while on the dust it keeps me sober, he didn't know what I was on but I knew myself well enough to know I could drive.

"Sure you can ride me." He said in what sounded like a flirty tone. I rasied an eyebrow at him. "I mean you can drive me ride…ugh….us…. you can drive us!" He laughed at himself standing up. I looked over at Johnny who was laughing shacking his head at us.

"Right well lets go before we miss it." Johnny said looking back at Bam laughing. "Izzy can you drive, you have been drinking… A LOT!" I was leading the way out the house ignoring Johnny. I wasn't even that buzzed and believe it or not im a better drive under the influence.

The whole way home Bam was sitting next to me bouncing around to Some screaming metal. I was laughing most of the time at him. Johnny keep reminding me to keep my eyes on the road. We pulled up to my dads with the radio blasting Emmett was outside with some girls. He was lookng at the car in shook to see me get out of the driver side.

"HI EMMY!" I said cheerfully letting Johnny out of the back seat, Bam was still scraming along to the song that was no longer playing.

"Hey sis, Bam, Johnny." Emmett said with his mouth slightly hanging open. The girls next to him laughed looking at Bam.

"Your sister is one hell of a crazy ass driver, You should let her tech you sometime, Had me shitting brick but she isn't as bad as Bam over there." Johnny said walking into the house. I walked over to my Brohter and the blonde bimbo that stood at his side along with one of her friends.

"How the hell did you manage to get Bam to let you drive his baby?" Emmett laughed giving me a hug.

"I out smarted him that's how." I laughed walking away not wanting to be introduced to the girls. I didn't get along with most girls so I rather not go down that road, specially with the Barbie type. As soon as I walked in the house I was wrapped up in a mixers of sizzling meat along with herbs and spices. I walked into the kitchen seeing my dad chopping an onion.

"Hey angle, Did these guys kid nap you?" My dad said glaring in their direction I couldn't help but to laugh looking over at the two boys waiting for me to answer.

"Daddy their not smart enough to kid nap me." I giggled hiccupping at the same time covering my mouth, Bam grabbed a couple beers out of the fridge walking over to me.

"Izzy B fucking Rocks, She kicked all are asses at beer pong, And she out drank Dunn of all people." Bam said almost proud of me handing me a beer.

"Isabella have you been drink and driving? Johnny Bam what the fuck?" He said stabbing the cutting bored getting upset with us.

"Daddy I'm 22 years old, and I was the most sober out if us three." I said popping open me beer watching Emmett walk into the kitchen hugging the blonde chick. I shook my head laughing at him, He used to hate blondes and here he is dating one? I laughed to my self looking at my dad.

"Hey dad how are you?" The second those words dropped out of her mouth my temper flared throw the roof, he was my dad not hers, who the fuck is this girl?

"Hey Rosy cheeks how was work?" He asked as she walked over kissing his cheek. I looked back at Em who gave me a big smile.

"Izzy this is my fiancé Rosalie, You can call her Rose." His fiancé? I thought looking back over to the bitch not like how comfortable she is with my dad.

"Izzy, Emmett has told me a lot about you. He didn't tell me you were covered in tattoos though. There ugh… umm...there cute." I glared at her wanting to smack her in the face.

"Yeah Izzy I didn't know you had so many fuck." Emmett said coming over checking them out. My dad looked up slightly shacking his head but not saying anything.

"I think there fucking hot as fuck on her." Bam said from the other side of the kitchen sitting at the table obviously drunk. I smiled over at him thanking him with my eyes, As I looked around feeling completely out of place. I was awkwardly waiting for my dad to finish dinner I just listened to everyone talk . I almost got up and said good bye a few times but for some reason when I looked at Bam he would smile at me making me feel a lot more comfortable, more at ease.

Dinner was finally set in front of us and I thought of quick reasons to get out of eating, then I looked up at Johnny who quietly told me not to eat anything. I watched as Emmett, Rosalie, and My dad all started in on their food. The three of us watched waiting for their reactions but looked around confused when they didn't react.

"What'd the matter guys, Don't like chicken?" My dad asked looking at us like we were crazy. Johnny and Bam looked at each other shrugging it off, taking a few bites before jumping up spitting there food out, screaming for water. Emmett and my dad laughed uncontrollably, I pushed my plate away laughing at the guys dance around grabbing the milk out of the fridge taking drinks then spiting it out as well. I got up feeling bad for them grabbing some bread telling them to eat it hoping it would help.

"Don't fuck with my food Jerks!" Emmett said laughing at them, holding on to his side like he busted a lung or something. After they calmed down some Johnny and Bam started to laugh with them.

"Ahhhhhhaaahhahahah fucking shit you got us good." Johnny was laughing at himself. Bam was crouched over coughing from laughing so hard. Bam looked up at me throw his laugher calming down a little looking at me. I smiled but I think he caught I was obviously uncomfortable.

"Daddy that was so mean of you." Rosalie said once every ones laughter subsided. My jaw dropped open, as anger/ jealousy swept over me.

"Daddy? She calls you daddy? That fucking sick" I yelled out in a burst of emotion standing up from my seat yelling at my dad.

"Izzy baby-" He set his fork down looking at me but I cut him off.

"No, Dad, I'm sorry but am I the only one who thinks that is fucking disgusting?" I looked around the room at everyone letting my eyes rest on her. " Who are you anyway?" I shouted forgetting she was with Emmett.

"Hey don't you talk like that to her, She has been here you haven't!" Emmett snapped at me in her defense

"Your so fucking right, she has ever right to call my daddy, daddy, I'm not a part of this so called family." I yelled pushing my chair out of the way walking towards the door.

"Thats it run away! It's what your good at!" Emmett yelled after me as flung the door open heading towards my car when I realized I didn't have my keys, but I did have Bam's keys. I was too mad to even think about what I was doing, I jumped in his car peeling out down the drive way and out the gates not even knowing where I was going or what I was doing.


	3. Chapter 3

I was putting the petal to the medal not even being able to think of anything other than getting as far away from the house as I could. I don't know what I was thinking come back to them, The way they looked at me tonight was heart breaking, It was like I was a stranger standing in front of them begging for them to take me in, to love me, to care about me but in all honesty I didn't blame them for not giving a fuck. Car's honked as I cut them off, No red lights held me I would floor it not caring if I crashed and burned. I skidded around corners lost in my thoughts, not even aware I was driving honestly. I was on auto pilot just driving to drive, I mean lets face it I had no were to drive to. Everyone I loved, everyone who said they loved me had turned their backs on me not evening trying to hear me out. For a long time I thought I had the best of friends, a family who loved me for everything I was and accepted me for everything I wasn't. The second things started to slid down south they bailed, acting like they never knew me at all. I swerved around a semi truck cutting off a cop, Wait fuck that was a cop. I slowed down but it was already too late red and blue lights flashed behind me. I could make a run for it the Lambo could out run the piece of shit crown Vick, my foot started to hit the gas but then I pictured Bam who look pissed off and I can't say it didn't bother me, he has been really nice to me, understand even if I wasn't tell him anything of detail. Shit, he actually just listened to me vent without judgment or having to throw in his two cents. That was something not even James did. I slowed down pulling over waiting nervously for the cop to come to my window.

"License and Registration Ma'am." He said looking at his clip bored not even looking at me once. I looked around the car; I don't know for what, I left everything at home. "Ma'am I need your Driver license and registration." He repeated this time looking at me.

"My License is at my dad house, and I don't know where the registration is, this isn't my car." I said with hands in my lap nervously playing with them.

"I see and just whose car is this?" He asked now giving me a doubt filled look.

"Um, A friend of my dad's." I said looking away from the cop feeling my heart start to pound in my chest and not in a good way.

"Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle." The officer said taking a step back from the car eyeing me carefully. I rolled my eyes having been here before; I let the door open before stepping out of the car. "I need your full name, date of birth, social security number." He said as I stood at the front of the car.

"Isabella Marie Tremaine December, 15, 1987, 361-69-4200." I said in a dual tone knowing this was going to end badly.

"Ma'am please have a seat on the curb while I check your name, Anything I should know about before I do so." I looked up at the officer taking a deep breath.

"I have prior's, one felony auto thief, Two misdermiters resisting and assaulting an officer." I said looking up at him knowing I official fucked myself.

"And does the owner of this car know you have it?" He asked like if I was already guilty. I closed my eyes deciding to just be honest about it.

"He should know by now, I took it after a fight with my dad-"The officer didn't even let me finish explaining he yanked me up by the arm, which I was sure he wasn't allowed to do.

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford on one will be appointed to you-"I rolled my eyes fight back the tears as he read me my rights pulling me to the back of his car opening the back door that I was all too familiar with. 'Don't say shit' James voice Echoed in my mind while I watched the officer call for back up while searching the car. Three cop cars, one tow truck, and a shit load of questions later I was tossed in a holding cell while they called Bam to let him know his stolen car was recovered.

Way to go Izzy B, you come down here wanting to make things right before you take off and what do you do, you fuck it all up being a spoiled bitch stealing a car of a celebrity. What were you thinking? Fuck I'm so fucking stupid. Now the whole world will know you're a good for nothing loser with a record for trying to protect your boyfriend who hates you by the way, very fucking nice. I scolded myself standing in the cell not wanting to sit down, it was disgusting in here, way worse then any cell I have ever been in which sadly was a few more than most people my age.

"Tremaine you made Bail." The girl officer who booked me said walking over to the cell. Who the hell would bail me out? I thought as she opened the cell door, I looked over my shoulder at the toilet of a cell. Fuck it who cares get me out of here. I thought walking to the main desk were they checked me out. I walked out the police station wondering how I was going to get my car when my Jaw dropped to the ground. I looked back at the station; can I have my cell back?

"So miss speed racer did you have fun?" Bam was leaning against the Lambo with his arms crossed and a stupid smirk. I looked down at the floor then up to him.

"I'm sorry Bam, I just-"

"Hey it was your car for the day remember? No need to be sorry" He said opening the passenger side door.

"Yeah but still, I shouldn't have just took off, I mean I was going to come back but I don't know."I said really embarrassed with myself.

"Knock it off and get in." He said walking away to the driver side.

"Oh no I can't go back there, I just gave Emmett more to throw at me fuck it I'll walk and sleep on the beach." I said knowing I wouldn't sleep.

"Well good thing I'm not taking you back there, Emmett's a jerk and as for the Girl yeah I think your right its sick that she fucks Em and calls his dad daddy." Bam laughed coming over to where I stood. "Come on They don't know anything, All Johnny knows is I told him we would meet him at his house. Your record is between you and me, we all fuck up, come on." He put an arm around my shoulder walking me to the car. I got in actually feeling relaxed for once. We didn't talk the whole way home not until we pulled up to what I was guessing was Johnny's house.

"Hey stop beating yourself up over it, I know you wouldn't steal my car. You needed to get way it's all good, but you owe me a favor one day, just keep that in mind." He winked at me leading the way. I watched him walk ahead of me too afraid to ask what kind of favor he would want from me.

"Izzy B you ok honey?" I was shocked when we walked up and Johnny sat there watching TV, but jumped up when he seen me, he looked worried.

"I'm fine." I said wondering why these two would give a rat's ass about me to begin with. They barley know me and yet they acted like I was a good friend of theirs.

"Your dad is worried sick about you, is it ok if I call him tell him your ok." Johnny said already pulling out his phone and hitting send.

"Yeah can you tell him I'll go get my stuff as soon as I can and that they won't have to deal with me anymore?" I said looking around at the nicely decorated house.

"Why do you think they hate you?" Bam asked with a confused look walking over to me.

"Ugh I don't know maybe because they should, look at whom I have become, you saw my record" I snapped at him not meaning to but I was getting antsy, starting to come down from my earlier high. Fuck I need my purse.

"Well your wrong, Emmett is mad because you left when he needed you, He is mad because you replaced him and your dad was never mad nor did he hate you he was hurt that was all. Stop being so fucking negative." Bam snapped back staring me dead in the eye. "So you fucked up a few time we all did, and still fuck up. They just want you back." I stood there staring at Bam getting mad at him. He didn't know anything about me how was he talking to me like he did.

"Fuck you, you bail me out and now you earn the right to talk to me like you know me?" I snapped back taking a step closer to him. Bam laughed and looked down at the floor then back up to me.

"I bailed you out because I understand why you left the way you did, And I don't know you but I know them. I know what they want." He said staring me down, I was breathing harder then I needed to as he stepped closer to me now an inch away from my face.

"Wait bailed you out? You really are a badass!" I heard Johnny say surprised from the side of us.

"Why do you care?" I whispered keeping my eyes locked on his. He took a deep breathing thinking about it for a minute before cupping my cheek in his hand, his eyes softened.

"I know how easy it is to let go, Surrender to despair lurking at your door, to lose your soul and all your feelings, Strength all gone, so many things left unsaid, And deeds undone, You've stopped caring  
'Cause it's all in vain." He said in a sweet whisper as I closed my eyes not understand how he could manage to really nail my feelings down like that. He knew nothing about my life but he knew all my feelings. I opened my eyes find his eyes still looking at me.

"You are so alone, tired of breathing, It's all going wrong, And you just can't stand the pain" I finished the lyrics to the song Don't Close your heart by H.I.M Letting a single tear fall. I don't think anyone has really ever under stood me like this, I t was scaring me. James knew me inside and out but only because I grow up with him, we were with each other every day. Bam only knew the story about the night that I left, plus the bits and pieces he was catching on to, he was paying attention to me without me even noticing.

"Baby just don't close your heart." He smiled at me taking a step back from me. We both looked over to Johnny who was watching us with a raised eye brow.

"Yeah you two are fucking weird, what the fuck was that some kind of mores code?" Johnny chuckled from where he stood crossing his arms over his chest. We both looked at him then back to each other.

"You still didn't answer my question, why do you care?" I said whipping my eyes looking to Johnny who was now walking over to us.

"I don't know, your cool, and I guess to be honest your eyes mirror mine when I look in the morning at myself wondering how I'm going to get throw the day, I don't know what happened but you're obviously hurting." Bam said clearing his throat walking away from me.

"Yeah, your Jeff's daughter Jeff and Emmett are family, so your family whether you like it or not, Your stuck with us," Johnny looked back at Bam. "Maybe not to Bam, I still think he has a crush." Johnny whispered making me giggle shaking my head.

"What's the matter Johnny? Jealous?" I giggled looking over at Bam who was moving around in the kitchen.

"A little, so why was Bam bailing you out? Oh and I ordered pizza come eat and tell me about your little run in with the piggy's." I laughed following behind him.

"I'm not that hungry, but I guess I'll tell you even though there isn't much to tell really." I said following behind Johnny not exactly sure how I was feeling other then curious about Bam. I never would have thought he would be the caring one, but then again he is the Big Jerk with the bigger heart. Bam was already eating when we walked in pulling out his phone looking at the caller ID smirking to himself. I recognized the ring tone, forever and Always by Bullet for my Valentine. He smiled for a brief second walking away.

"Hey Sexy, What are you up to?" He asked before shutting the back patio door.

"So, Record? Piggies? Bam's Lambo?" Johnny asked piling pizza on his plate. I laughed rolling my eyes.

"I was pissed off and was going kind of fast cutting people off, One of the car's I cut off was a damn cop, I almost ran for it but I didn't want to do that to Bam, They thought I stole the car because I have a record. I was convicted of grand thief auto a few years back, my boyfriend was the one who stole it but I was in the car so I was charged as an accomplices, I sort of hit a cop when they were pulling James away from me talking shit. SO I have resisting and assaulting an officer." I said surprised how easy it all came out just fell out. Johnny laughed stuffing his face as I tried to catch a glimpse of Bam who now looked like he was arguing outside.

"I have almost all of that on my record and more, I thought you had like murder or something more hardcore." He laughed taking another bite and looking in back of him towards Bam then back at me. "You guys have like a weird bond huh? He would have never been that cool if one of us took his car, all he said was it's cool she will be back. He actually defended you, which is weird because usually he stays out of it unless it's something to do with him. He said he gets you." I looked at Johnny shrugging my shoulders.

"He doesn't know anything about me but he does, he gets me, it's fucking weird." I looked down at the table as Bam walked in slamming the sliding door shut taking a seat.

"You ok?" I asked almost afraid too.

"Fanfuckingtastic. Johnny can I crash here tonight?" Bam said rubbing his eyes together. Johnny nodded his head and looked at me.

"You can stay here as long as you need." I looked at him snorted a laugh without meaning to.

"Thanks but I'm leaving tomorrow, I can't be around them while Barbie is around running them, I'll kill her then murder will really be on my record." I said crossing my arms.

"Where are you going to go?" Bam asked not thinking I was funny, I wouldn't look at him forgetting I told him I had no were to go really.

"I'll meet up with James like I planned on." I said still not looking at him, why couldn't I look at him?

"Oh yeah were at?" Johnny asked now tapping his hand on the table.

"Ugh umm, up north why?"

"Where up north?" Bam shoot back to quick for me to answer.

"ugh… I…ugh." I stuttered trying to think of an answer.

"Yeah ok listen you call James right now, put him on speaker tell him your heading up there tomorrow and I'll let you go." Bam said crossing his arms sitting back in his seat looking at me. Johnny looked at Bam like he had lost his damn mind and you know what I think he did. Who the fuck did he think he was? He had no right to talk to me like that.

"What are you my fucking dad? I'll leave tomorrow if I fucking want to." I shoot him a warring look, I dare him to try and fuck with me.

"No I'm a friend who cares, earlier you said you didn't have any where to go, you keep saying you're going to meet up with him but you didn't say where and to be honest I think you're confused if you two are even together, Call him, I am the one who would take you to your dads were your car and things are anyway and right now I don't think I will" He said smugly looking from me to Johnny.

"I'll take a cab."

"You don't have any cash."

"I'll pay when I get there"

"I'll tell Brandon the guard who happens to be my good friend not to let you in."

"Why are you making a big deal out of this?"

"Why won't you just call him" Bam slid his phone over to me as we argued back and forth. I narrowed my eyes at him picking up the phone. I looked down at the key pad them back up to Bam and Johnny who quietly waited for my next move. My hand slightly trembled as I started to dial James number. I stopped half way throw unable to dial the full thing.

"It's late there." I whispered keeping my eyes on the phone.

"Where?" Johnny asked now really paying attention.

"Washington." I answered staring down at James number.

"I'm sure he will answer your call, if he isn't a douche bag he must be worried." Johnny said as my eyes blurred from tears I was fighting to hold in.

"Call him." Bam said again I closed my eyes and shock my head.

"I shouldn't wake him." I said setting the phone down on the table. " Johnny where is your restroom?" I asked with a weak smile voiding looking at Bam.

"Down the hall to the left, second door." He said being serious for the first time since I had meet him. I stood up walking towards the restroom trying to keep myself together knowing they were watching me walk away. I quietly such the door leaning against it shutting my eyes, I started to breath heavy, hoping somehow my deep breath were going to hold me together. Don't do it don't break down your stronger than this, just stick to the plan, the plan is good, it makes sense. I told myself but it didn't help, the second I opened my eyes and saw myself staring back at me I lost it. Tears streamed down my face as I stared at myself in the mirror.

"Look at you" I mumbled to myself. "You're disgusting." I mumbled again not even whipping my tears away, I let them fall freely, dripping down my chin and soaking throw my shirt, letting my make-up run leaving black streaks down my cheeks. "I hate you. You don't deserve anything good, you should be in jail, all you do is hurt people, ruins lives." I repeated to myself hardly able to breathe as I looked in the mirror seeing the ugly truth staring back. I couldn't take it, I needed to numb it, mask it from being seen. I started pulling open drawers, opening cabinets, searching for something anything to help sooth me, I needed something to help me before I lost my dam mind. I pulled open the medince cabinet picking up bottles reading labels until I came across one the caught my attention. _Promethazine Codeine_. There was about half a bottle of the liquid that would hopefully knock me on my ass. I twisted off the lid smelling the purple syrup remembering someone once saying a shot of this is like taking ten vikeden pills; it relaxes you and knocks you out. I plugged my nose hoping it didn't taste as nasty as it smelt before guzzling the bottle ¾'s down. I put the bottle down slightly gagging a bit, shaking off the after taste.

I sat on the edge of the tube closing my eyes feeling a little dizzy. When I opened them to stand up everything seemed to move in still frames. The light blinded me making it that much harder to see. I flicked off the light and opened the restroom door. Once I stepped out of the restroom I leaned against the wall trying to suck in a deep breath of air but couldn't manage to suck in enough. I closed my eyes again this time feeling like I was spinning out of control much like my life, my eye lids flew open trying to take another deep breath of air. _OK Izzy just go ask were the guest room is and pass out._ I told myself taking baby steps towards the kitchen. Once I rounded the corner Johnny and Bam both stood up.

"Izzy B I'm sorry, I was pissed off with Missy…. ArE YoU OK?" I looked over at Bam not registering what he said because he couldn't keep his tone at a normal volume level. He would get really high then really low. I looked over at Johnny who was waving a hand at me.

"What was I saying?" I questioned looking over at him trying to focus on one of the five other Johnny's that seemed to be juggling around in front of me.

"Izzy…..alright?" I looked at him completely lost

"Yeah." I agreed trying to blink away the fuzzy outline around my eye. Johnny and Bam both looked at each other confused then back at me. Fuck I need to sit down, or go to bed standing up is way too much work right now. I thought looking at the boys who were watching me. Bam had his head cocked to the side with his eye brows furrowed, And Johnny well I couldn't see him he was moving too fast. I closed my eyes trying to smile there way thinking fuck this shit is strong. When I opened my eyes everything went back to still frames and I was sitting down on the couch watching a movie. I looked over to Bam who was laughing at the TV; He looked at me and smiled, I looked around wondering just where the hell all the color went and why was everything so fuzzy now, like static on a TV.

"To drink?" Bam said as Johnny flicked on the light.

"Izzy B …is what…matter…you…to good." Johnny said not making any sense to me as he walked closer to me.

"Izzy B…..Anything?" Bam said kneeling down in front of me. I looked at him like an idiot, I was trying to tell my brain to start working but it just wouldn't work. I told it to speak and it made me touch Bam's face, I told it to stand up and sat there staring at Bam like he was an alien or something.

"BAM!" I hear Johnny call holding something in his hand I watch as the two agued mouthing words but with no sound coming out. Bam stood up pulling his phone out and everything went silent all I could hear was the slow steady thumps of my heart beating, I listened as it grow slower and slower, This time when I closed my eyes I couldn't find it in me to open them, to be honest I didn't care if I ever opened them again, I smiled to myself or at least I thought of smiling as the peaceful darkness creped over me.


	4. Chapter 4

When the doctor's finally let us go in to see Izzy it had been almost three hours later. They explained to us about the coke in her system and the bullshit Promethazine, and how mixing an upper with a downer like that would kill you. I knew the second she walked out of the restroom something was up but then again I was so wrapped up in my own shit I didn't think too much of it. Johnny walked in before me, I know I just meet this girl but for some reason I'm drawn to her, Johnny and I both feel like we have known her for years instead of days. Just talking to her I could tell a lot is going on with her, her eyes, they were distant most of the time. Not one of her smiles reached her eyes, they were forced.

"Oh god Izzy, you poor thing, you look miserable." Johnny mumbled from in front of me. I rubbed my eyes before looking over at her. She had an oxygen mask on, wires, needles, I.V and a heart monitor all attached to her. She was passed out with the look of death lingering from her angelic face. There was no doubt about it, this girl here was a lost soul and if Jeff and Emmett would just open there damn eyes maybe they would see she was fighting herself over something bigger than them. I guess you can say I feel her pain; the look that delicately lies in her eyes is the same look I fight to hide from myself.

Jonny and I both sat there in the room not saying anything, Johnny was texting Emmett who was having a panic attack thinking he pushed her into this over there fight. I watched her steady breathing thinking about what a dick I was for talking to her how I did, it's none of my business. So why did I feel the need to make it my business?

"James don't go please stay with me." Izzy whispered moving around pulling her oxygen mask off. Johnny jumped up to get a nurse and I sat up not really sure what to say or do. "James?" She sobbed with her eyes squinted shut.

"Isabella, you're in a hospital, Can you hear me?" A doctor walked in checking her monitors. Her eyes started to slowly open up. "Isabella I'm Dr. Cullen. I need you to tell me how many Fingers I'm holding up."

"What dose that have to do with anything?" I asked getting protective over her. She looked like she was in pain, shouldn't he be helping her with that.

"He is checking for apparent sings of brain damage. It's all standard." A nurse said pushing us out the door, and shutting it. I stood in front of the door next to Johnny. I felt like this whole thing was my fault, I pushed her about calling her boyfriend; I don't know what they're going throw I shouldn't have talked to her like that.

"Were is she, is she ok?" Jeff's panicked voice came from behind us. We both turned around but Johnny was the only one with Balls enough to explain what happened. Emmett blamed himself for going off on her like that and Jeff said it wasn't anyone's fault, but I had a feeling it was someone's fault, it was Her boyfriends fault, whatever there are going throw if it's bad enough for her to be scared to call him, well maybe we would have to pay the fucker a visit.

I sat in the waiting room with Jeff, Emmett and Johnny while the doctor's ran test on Izzy B. I was fucking tired so I laid my head back closing my eyes, I don't know how long I laid there for but I jumped when Johnny kicked me. I rubbed my eyes together trying to wake up.

"Hey Izzy is asking for you." Johnny handed me a cup of coffee. I looked around realizing it was morning already. Emmett was passed out on the waiting room floor. I looked at Johnny about to ask.

"She kicked him out of the room, He was being nice and she said he was full of shit. Izzy is a feisty bitch. She sent Jeff to get her a bagel, and says she needs to talk to you." Johnny took a seat sipping on his coffee. "Room 232 oh and you should wear protection."

"She is in the hospital Johnny, and I'm married." I rolled my eyes looking back to the rooms. Johnny laughed chocking on his coffee.

"Fucker, I meant because she is violent and threw a phone at Emmett, I knew you wanted to bang her." I walked away from him not saying anything, sure she was hot and funny as shit but I could never think of her in that way. When I got to the room I took a deep breath ready to hear her bitch me out for pushing her to do this. As soon as she seen me she sat up.

"Shut the door will you." She asked getting comfortable. This could be bad; I hope they didn't leave any needles around or anything.

"How are you feeling?" I asked standing as far away from the bed as possible. I really didn't like hospitals and I hated hospitals.

"Like a dump truck ran me over twice and dumped a tone on manure over me. You look like hell." She tried to smile at me but it was forced.

"Yeah well it's been a long day and night."

"Have a seat Bam; I want to talk to you." Izzy pointed at the chair. "I want to say sorry for everything, and I'm sorry you had to stay the night here. I didn't mean to be such a bitch to you. I know everyone is confused and worried about me. Truth is your all right I am going throw some stuff, or I went throw some stuff. I'm confused over what I'm doing, but after everything that happened I realized family is important to me, I want my family back. Thank you for saving my life Bam, really, it means a lot to me. Before I didn't care if I lived or died, I care now and thanks to you I get a chance to live. I know we just meet but you're a good friend." I honestly didn't know what to say to her.

"You shouldn't be the one saying sorry. It's none of my business about whatever it is you do or don't do. I'm sorry." I pulled up a seat next to her bed, Izzy stiffed a laugh.

"Well I think maybe I need it to be someone's business. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I promised my dad I was going to stay but I promised James I would see him soon. How would you choose?" she asked looking out the window trying to hide the tears building up in her eyes.

"I could help you, you know. I can tell you how it is. I don't beat around the bush. I'm not the type to tell you what you want to hear I'll tell you what needs to be heard, but you got to tell me more then you told him you would meet up with him."

"If I told you what really happened, if you knew the truth, if anyone knew the truth." She stopped talking as the room door cracked open.

"Hey sweetie I got you orange juice and a bagel, do you still like pulp?" Jeff asked walking in. Izzy smiled at him looking away from me.

"Yeah he is right here hold on." Johnny was on the phone walking in, he handed it to me before taking a seat in the chair on the other side of the room. I already knew who it was; I stood up winking over at Izzy before walking out the room.

"Hey Missy." I said in the phone stepping outside.

"Bam why haven't you picked up your damn phone." My wife snapped in the phone.

"Because I was busy saving Jeff's daughters life, is that ok with you?" I was too damn tired to argue with her right now.

"Yeah I saw on TMZ."

"What?" She had my attention now.

"It was on TMZ how she overdosed, they didn't say on what. There waiting to get more detail I was worried about you they showed you jumping in the ambulance with her. Are you ok babe? You didn't take anything did you?"

"No, what else where they saying?"

"Who?" She asked like we were talking about two different things.

"The damn TMZ assholes." I snapped looking back at the hospital.

"Nothing, they said they would have more on her tonight, that she was like his long lost daughter that he didn't even know about her. "

"Yeah they were fucking wrong he know her, they so fucking wrong. That's bullshit. I got to go I'll call you later." I hung up knowing they were going to take this too well. I walked in seeing Emmett heading to the room.

"Yo Em, did you hear about TMZ?" I asked trying not to be too loud.

"What? No, what about them?" Emmett looked like hell but I think we all did.

"Missy said they got footage of us taking her to the hospital, they don't have all the facts yet but it's only a matter of time."

"Son of a bitch she is already having a hard opening up to us with the media digging around, shit she might shut down all together."

"Yeah I think she will too. What do we do?" I throw my arms over my head trying to think.

"Fuck Have you guys seen all the news camera's out there?" Dunn shouted with Steve- o from the elevator. Emmett and I looked at each other.

"Shut up!" Emmett demanded looking back at Izzy's door. "We need away to get her out of here without them knowing."

"They don't know shit, I watched the news this morning and they don't know what is really going on, we can go out there and give them a bullshit story, they will take whatever they can get." Steve-o threw in looking around the hospital.

"My dad would have to be the one to do it." Emmett said looking back at the room. "No one say anything to her until we have this figured out. I'm not even sure she will want you guys here she barely will let me see her."

"Yeah well that's because you're on your ass, she loves us." Dunn and Steve pushed Emmett out the way walking over to the room. I laughed following behind them.

"Wooooo look at you rock star, you partied so hard you but yourself in the hospital first day in LA you beat my record." Steve-o jumped on the bed patting her leg, Emmett groaned rolling his eyes.

"Yeah well I figured I have a lot to live up to if I'm going to be hanging around you guys." Izzy smiled at the guys looking more relaxed.

"Yeah let's not make it a habit." Jeff looked out the window, judging by his reaction I'm guessing he saw the media circus out there. Jeff shut the blinds looking back at all of us. Emmett nodded towards the door.

"Where are you guys going?" Izzy asked a little panicked. I don't know why she would, she didn't seem like she wanted them around but now she sounded like she was afraid they were going to disappear.

"To see when we can get you home Angel." Jeff smiled at her walking out.

"So I hear you decided to stick around a little longer, we are rubbing off on you aren't we?" Johnny stood up stretching his arms. Izzy laughed looking at all of us.

"Yeah, I guess you guys kind of are." She said only looking over at me, then down at her hands. Dunn was looking at me with a raised eye brow and a suspicious grin.

We ended up bring her out the back door a day later. Media was still out the front even after Jeff went out and told them a bullshit story about how she took the wrong cough syrup and took too much of it. They were still digging around about her sudden appearance. Izzy decided to stay at her dad's house even though Johnny offered her to stay with him. Izzy was up stairs taking a shower and getting settled in. The rest of us guys were down stairs waiting for the pizza to get here.

"You think she is going to stick around?" Emmett asked cracking open his beer looking up at the stairs.

"I hope so she is hard core." Johnny laughed flipping the TV channels.

"Oh yea dude if she was leaving she would be gone." Steve-o said kicking his feet up on the sofa.

"Izzy is one hard as bitch, I'll give her that, you should be proud Jeff." Dunn was sitting on the recliner half awake half asleep. Jeff sat down looking around at all of us.

"Listen as hard core as you guys think she is I have a feeling something is up with her, She seems to get along with you guys just do me a favor and keep an eye on her." Jeff sounded worried about his daughter. I knew something was up, If he would have token his time on getting that damn bagel I might know what it is.

"Well she is sweet on Bam maybe he should keep an eye on her." Dunn blew me a kiss throwing a pillow at me.

"What does that mean fucker?" I looked at my phone then back at the guys.

"Yeah did you see him blush yesterday when she said blue looks well on him?" Johnny laughed with everyone.

"No but I saw him freak out when he woke up and she wasn't in her bed. Remember Bam you jumped up faster than Don Vito would to get a Hoggy." Steve – o throw in everyone was laughing but Emmett I looked at him and shook my head.

"Bam, talk to her, she is comfortable enough to steal your car she might be comfortable enough to tell you what James did to her. Find out so we can kill the son of a bitch." I was surprised by Emmett reaction.

"It's not him, as far as I know about him he is good to her, I think they got into trouble together, or maybe he took the blame for something she did. That's what it seemed like when we talked at Steve-o's" I said popping a tooth pick in my mouth looking over my shoulder at the stairs. "Whatever it is it's not him it's her, why don't you try to find him and ask him." I throw in trying to be quite.

"Because we don't know anything about him other then he was a fucking punk." Emmett almost growled getting up walking out the room.

"Don't worry Jeff well keep an eye out and an ear open." Dunn yawned

"Woo Johnny go back." Jeff jumped up. Johnny flipped the channel back where a mugg shout of Izzy showed up on the screen with the headline.

"**Jackass director raised Jackass Daughter." ** All of us were on our feet listening to the news reporter.

"Ms. Tremaine first trip to a Jail cell was a few years back when she was convicted of grand theft in 2001. Four months spent in county while her lawyer's franticly worked through appeals getting all charges dropped. Three months later Izabella Tremaine was charged with drug trafficking spending six months in county being transferred four month in to a solitary jail cell after fighting with her cell mate. Tremaine was released after all drug charges were drop due to not being properly merandized during arrest, This misguided misfit was an above average academic achiever who's life took a wrong turn shortly after her mother's suicide at the age of fifteen. " We all listened intently hearing a low gasp from back of us we all quietly turned around seeing Izzy B standing with her hands covering her mouth with tears streaming down her face Someone shut the TV off right as she bolted up the stairs. We all stayed quite looking from one another not know what to say.

"Isabella!" Jeff called after her running up the stairs. I looked around seeing every ones stunned faces; at least I wasn't the only one in total shock.

"Well now I know why we could never find anything on her. She changed the spelling of her name." Emmett said standing up looking at the blank TV screen. "I knew that piece of shit James corrupted her did you hear all that shit?" Emmett started towards the stairs. I had a feeling that was just the tip of the ice berg with Izzy B. That's when I remember Emmett telling me once that Jeff never told her mom killed her. I stood up without even thinking about it I got to her door where Jeff and Emmett pounded on.

"Let me try talking to her, Emmett didn't you say she didn't know the truth about her mom?" I asked standing in front of the door. Knowing they were just pissing her off.

"Shit!" Jeff ran his hand throw his hair forgetting she didn't know I'm guessing.

"Oh fuck, Dad fuck." Emmett's eyes went wide; he leaned against the wall sliding down.

"Do you think she will talk to you, I'm not mad at her I just want to talk to her, I want to know what's going on with her." Jeff whispered looking at her door.

"Just go down stairs I'll be able to talk to her. Just not with you here." Jeff and Emmett looked at each other before walking away. I stood in front of her door wondering how I got roped into this with her. Why was I making this shit my problem when I have my own damn problems to take care of? I tapped on the door her some movement in the room.

"Izzy B It's Bam, you ok?" I honestly didn't know what to say to her.

"Fuck off!" She sniffled throw the door.

"Ok, As soon as you let me in I'll go fuck myself, but first I want to make sure your ok."

"Oh yeah ok you care right? Fuck you Bam you don't know me! Stop acting like you care!" She snapped sounding muffled. I decided maybe in order to deal with her I had to think like her, if she was going to be a bitch, I would be a dick.

"I don't care; stop being a whinny bitch running away from all your damn problems." I snapped threw the door. I waited for a response, the room got quite so I kept going. "You need to stop running and just face your shit already, so what if you have been to jail we all have been to jail stop acting like daddies perfect angel." With that said the door flew open.

'Fuck you Bam! I never said I was perfect! I'm far, far from it, you don't know me and I don't run!" She snapped backing me up into the wall.

"Oh yeah so why did you steal my car when Emmett yelled at you, why did you down a bottle of Promethazine when I got on your ass, how about why did you run away from home because shit got tough." I pushed her into her room getting mad at her, shutting the door behind us.

"Don't you dare judge me at least I get away from the shit bugging me." Izzy pushed me back raising her voice.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I was confused by her outburst.

"Oh come on Bam your wife is fucking god knows who and you act like it doesn't bother you. At least I deal with my problem some sort of way." She hissed grabbing her stuff tossing it on her bed.

"Running away isn't dealing with it angel. I am dealing with my shit we made a commitment and we are working throw it." I yelled grabbing her wrist stopping her from packing.

"Let go of me!" She said trying to pull away from me.

"I'm not letting you run from this." I said more calmly pushing her back then grabbing her stuff putting it back in hr drawer.

"Bam why are you acting like this?" She grabbed the stuff I put away tossing it on the bed while I put more away.

"I don't know, for some fucked up twisted reason I do care, I care about your crazy ass and I care about Jeff practically crying whenever you are mentioned, I care that Emmett missed his sister, I care that Jeff has never been as happy as he was to have you back, I care that while you were acting a damn fool Emmett was crying to me like a little bitch about losing you again thanks to his temper! Stop thinking of your damn self and start thinking about the people around you!" I grabbed both her wrist making her drop everything. We stared each other in the eye, This over whelming feeling of attraction washed over me, I didn't know the mess of a woman in front of me yet for some crazy reason I cared about her, I cared so much and I have no fucking clue why. How the hell was I turned on by this bitch? Both of us glared at each other with hate blaring from our eyes, I cared yeah, I but hated her for it. My life is difficult enough.

"You shouldn't care about someone who doesn't care about herself and either should they." Izzy said pulling free from me grip, she turned away grabbing her purse trying to walk away but I stepped in front of her.

"Maybe she needs someone to care about her, maybe they need her to care" I said feeling my anger melt off me. Izzy shook her head looking down at the floor then back up to me.

"She has someone who cares, I don't need you or any of them out there to love me, I have love thank you every much, they didn't give a fuck back then why would they care now, Hell I bet they forgot about me as quick as they forgot about my mom" Her tone started to crack as she spoke, tears filled her eyes.

"If he loves you so much where is he then?" I asked wanting to get to the bottom of her and her damn boyfriend, I don't know the guy but I couldn't stand him. I think Emmett was right about the fuck. Izzy gave me a hard stare before slapping me right across the face.

"OWWW" I yelled out after her as she stormed off into the restroom, I covered my cheek walking down the stairs. I can't believe she fucking hit me. She really fucking just slapped me for no damn reason, all I said was the damn truth, she keeps saying this guy loves her so damn much well where the fuck was he and why was he letting her get herself into all this damn trouble.

"Any luck?" Jeff asked standing up as I walked into the living room.

"Holy shit did she slap you?" Dunn laughed out; I looked in the mirror seeing a red hand print on my face. I shook my head sitting down on the couch not answering them. Everyone had a fucking joke to say about her slapping me, all I could think about was what kind of shit was she going to get herself into now.


	5. Chapter 5

" If he cares so much where is he?" Bam said standing in front of me, my anger boiled over and without thinking twice I slapped him right across the face. I was sick of everyone acting like they knew my James. If he could he would be here. I pushed passed him walking into the restroom.

"Oww!" Bam whined walking away, dumbass that's what you get for second guessing me on everything I do. Who the fuck did he think he was? He acted like he fucking knew me, he didn't know shit, he needs to worry about his whore wife and stop trying to get in the middle of my shit. I slammed the restroom door. I reached in my purse searching for my dream dust. I was so angry that when I pulled it out I couldn't focus on setting it up right. I needed to get the hell out of the house. I tossed it back in my purse looking in the mirror, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I haven't felt this much emotions in months. I walked down the stairs tossing my hair up in a pony tail. Everyone was laughing but stopped when I walked in. Bam stood up crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well If it isn't miss run away herself." He spat at me pissing me off even more.

"I'm not fucking running away you fucking Jerk." I snapped searching my purse for my keys.

"Were are you going then Izabella?" Emmett questioned with an uneasy tone.

"Too have a minute to fucking breath without dick face trying to come at me like he knows me." I said annoyed finally finding my keys.

"That counts as running daddies angel. And by the way your not that big a fucking mystery, you run when something doesn't go your way, you get mad when people tell you how it is, your confused, and you have a recored big fucking whoop." Bam yelled at me, god I wanted to punch him in the face.

"Shuit the fuck up you fuck up of a actor, you think your hot shit well guess what you're not that hot, your wife sucks more dick then you make movies. You jump all over me because you want to hide from your own damn problems, Yeah I take off when I get mad only because I don't want to have to kick some ones ass, your so close to me just saying fuck it and catching another charge." I snapped throwing my purse to the side walking up to him. Bam laughed in my face looking in back of him towards the stunned guys.

"Isabella, Bam that's enough." My dad said moving towards us.

"NO." we both snapped staring at each other.

"Where you going to run to next IzzyB? With your saint of a boyfriend who doesn't seem to notice your even gone? If you ask me that guy has you fucked in the head, if he loved you he would be here to help you deal, your too scared to even call him." Bam yelled at me, I was sick oh him and everyone else bring up James, James didn't do anything wrong. I couldn't control my breathing, My emotions were throw the roof, I couldn't think straight. I shoved Bam in the chest for the first time letting it all out.

"Fuck you, don't talk about him, you don't know him, he would be here, he has always been there for me, I fucked him over, I'm no fucking Angel and he is a fucking saint." I yelled feeling like I wanted to jump out of my own skin. I hated myself for what I did to him.

"What are you talking about?" Emmett asked moving over to us. I kept my eyes on Bam hating him with every fiber of my being.

"Why are you so fucking secretive over this fucking awesome guy?" Bam stared right back at me. I shook my head fighting the tears that angrily poured out of my eyes. I took off up to my room going throw all my things looking for the last thing I wanted to have to relive, I kept it as a reality check. I pulled out the newspaper running back down the stairs shoving it in Bam's chest screaming at him.

"Because thanks to me he is fucking DEAD! Are you fucking happy that's the big fucking secret! I killed my boyfriend I hope you feel better now!" I yelled running out the door slamming it behind me, Getting in my car practically running the gates down needing to get as far away as possible. I hated them all, I hated them for making me feel like this, I don't even know how I felt to be honest. I just know I felt unbalanced. I ended up driving to the beach, I climbed over some rocks that lead to a hidden cliff. I stood at the edge looking down at the dominating waves crashing into the ridged rocks below. Life could easily be cut short with just one simple leap. I closed my eyes waiting for James face to appear, waiting for him to tell me everything would be ok, to just do it. Just jump, since the day I lost him all I heard in my head was him telling me I owe him to join him. The words '_Were ever he is I belong'_ rang in my head over and over.

"James I'm so sorry." I whispered with my eyes closed taking a step closer. " I waited way to long." I said letting my tears freely fall. The raging waves had me quivering inside, preying this would be quick and pain less. The ocean breeze crawled up my leg making me shiver, My eyes slowly opened looking down as I took slow breaths trying to clear my head.

"_There you go again, running away, I was right, your going to run away from yet another problem."_ I gasped freezing in place. Bam's voice echoed in my mind braking my concentration. I slowly looked over my shoulder expecting him to be standing behind me but no one was there, it was me the cliff, the angry water and my rambling brain. _"go ahead chicken shit do it."_ Bam's voice rang in my head yet again. Ok I'm fucking losing it, I'm fucking going crazy, no wait I have been crazy this is just a sure sign. I stepped back dropping to my knees not even caring rocks and sticks were stabbing throw my jeans. I broke down hysterically crying. All I wanted was to be in his arms, James helped me throw everything, James cooed to me he protected me. God James, why James, I love him so much life is horrible without him. I crawled over to the edge looking straight down this time seeing James smiling face. What the fuck was going on with me, I'm hallucinating now?

I sat down at the edge feeling more confused than I have ever felt in my entire life. On one hand I felt alone, neglected, and like the lowest piece of shit on earth. Thanks to me James was gone, My so called friends turned their backs on me. James family says I'm a reckless whore. Reckless maybe, whore never, James was my life. Then on the other hand I felt a fire burning in my heart, For month I have felt dead inside like there was nothing left of me. I have been here a few days and I already feel alive, lifted, I don't feel drained. I like being around the guys, I don't feel judged. Not even by Bam even throw all his yelling I think his point was everyone fucks up. I think he makes me want to be tougher. I have been hard on Emmett who never really did anything to me. He walks on Eggshells around me, I needed him to know it was me not him. Then my dad, I just felt bad for him, he must feel like a failure of a father. I don't want to leave him thinking that when none of this is his fault.

The longer I sat there the more reason I found to live, who would have thought I would actually be find a reason without James to live. I'm not sure how long I sat there lost in my thoughts but when I came out of it but when I did It was pitch black only dimly light by the moon light. I crawled my way back down the cliff dragging my feet to my car. For the first time in years I was actually going to face my problems head on instead of hiding behind James as a cover. HE was always my knight in shining armor. Once I pulled up to my dads I had no idea where I was going to start, what was I going t say or even what there reactions would be. But I decided that if they tell me to fuck off that was a sign from James to go with him, but if they accepted me then I would do my best to make things right with them. I noticed all the boys cars were gone when I pulled up so I took that as my first bad sign. I took a deep breath pushing open the heavy oak doors.

"She is here Bam I'll call you back." Emmett said into his phone running over to me tossing it to the side. I stood there stunned as he wrapped me in a huge bear hug. "Damn it Izzy B you have us worried sick, you need to stop thinking the worst out of all of us." Emmett said setting me down on the ground. I looked up at him holding on to my Emotion as tight as I could.

"Emmett I'm sorry for everything." I could barely talk.

"Hey the past is in the past, you're here now that's all that counts. I could have been nicer to you but instead I was a big dick." Emmett said as we walked over to the living room.

"I wasn't exactly nice either." I mumbled taking a seat. " I guess I just feel like you guys will judge me and hate me. I can't believe you don't already."

"One thing we have never done or will ever do is judge you, If you wouldn't take off all the damn time you might actually find that out. It's hard to fix things with you running off. "Emmett said in a careful tone. I stiffed a laugh.

"I know, I have always been that way, I don't know why, God I said some fucked up shit to Bam, He was only trying to help." I said feeling bad for yelling at him.

"Ahh don't worry about him, he got over it. I think you and him may be a little more alike then we would like that's why you guys bump heads but fuck it that's life." Emmett tossed a pillow at me, I caught it hugging it taking a deep breath.

"Where is dad?" I said looking around not hearing anything other than us.

"Well Dad is with Bam looking for you around town, Johnny went home to see if you would show up there and steve-o is walking the strip with Dunn thinking you would have gone there."

"Everyone is looking for me?" I asked kind of surprised. Especially with Bam, I would have thought he hated me by now.

"You affected them all in some way, believe it or not those guys are worried about you, they like your crazy ass. Dunn almost beat the shit out of Bam after you left. I guess you have that loving protective affect ton people." I looked over at Emmett rubbing my eyes . " Can they all come over? Dad is texting saying they want to see you." Emmett asked tossing me his phone. I cleared my throat looking at the text.

( Ask Angel if she is up to the guys stopping by, they all want to talk to her. Make sure she knows its all good nothing bad, Bam wants to kiss her ass too.) I scratched my forehead before laughing texting him back.

(Yeah please bring pizza.) I tossed the phone back to Emmett who laughed at the text.

"About time you want to eat something, I was getting worried about your eating habits." I looked over at Emmett a little more shocked then I meant to. " You ok over there sis?" Emmett sat up straight looking over at me. I nodded my head forcing a fake smile.

"Em, I don't really want to talk about this with dad, I think he will lie to me about it." I needed to change the subject. Emmett looked at me knowing what I wanted to talk about. He took a deep breath sitting back.

" He never wanted you to find out the truth about her." Emmett said turning the TV off getting up and coming over to me.

"What is the truth?" I asked feeling a lump rise in my throat as I asked, Emmett took a deep breath fluttering his eyes thinking before he started to speak.

"Mom was ugh, Look I loved her as much as you but I knew more about her then you. All those times she was sick were the days she was coming down off her shit, Her 30 day vacations were dads attempt to get her help. Mom never wanted the help, the fights were always about having drugs in the house around us. Dad wanted you to have someone to look up to so he kept it all from you. She screamed at him all the time saying she hated him, how miserable he made her when really it was the other way around. She made his life hell and he took it, he took all the lashing out, he took all the shit she throw at him all for us to have the family he wanted us to have. He loved her and her dirt. She started to see a therapist witch was a waist because she lied to him to get more drugs, The day she died after I dropped you off at the mall, dad found mom in the restroom in the tube with her wrist sliced open,Needles on the floor a bottle of jack spilt on the floor. He didn't want us to see her like that so he asked aunt Esme to get us. But I knew something was wrong so I lied saying was going to play basketball with some friends. When I got there detectives were everywhere, I ran up the there room walking in on the mess, She was already gone but it was clear as to what happened. Dad was a mess, he told me he didn't want you to hate her, he knew how close you two were so he came up with the story about her having heart problems to make it easier on you."

I sat there in tears listening to my brother tell me the truth about my parents, my mother, the saint I thought she was, was nothing but the devil in disguise. My dad, what have I done to my dad? I lashed out at him exactly how she did, he didn't deserve that at all. All he wanted for us was a happy home. I can't believe I blamed him for all her mistakes. Emmett took my hand in his, I looked up to see him in tears too. I was the worst daughter alive, the worst person to live. I blamed my dad and brother for something they did their best to protect me from, I didn't listen to James when he told me to slow down now he is gone. I ran away from home probably killing him that much more. Then I was about to end my life being selfish, I owed so much to my dad and to Emmett. How could I do this to my family, I didn't give them a chance in hell to be a part of my life. Why was I so quick to judge the ones that gave a fuck about me.

"Em, I had no idea." I had so much I wanted to say to him, I had a lot to think about, like my eniter life. If I knew the truth would that change anything, would I have still ran away with james?

"Izzy B don't sweat it, all that matters is your hear now, and your going to be around. I mean you are going to be around right?" Emmett asked pulling me into a hug, I hugged him back feeling my head spinning in circles. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. We both pulled back hearing the front door slam shut, we both whipped our eyes before looking in back of us at who was walking in.

"Izzy fucking B you crazy ass, having us run all over town, were did you go?" Dunn's voice echoed throw the house Steve-o jumped over the couch next to me.

"I think its hot you have been to Jail more then once." I laughed looking over at steve-o confused, Steve-o wiggled his eyes brows at me.

"Get away from my sister Disease-o" Emmett pulled me closer to him trying to kick steve-o but I was in the way.

"I was at the beach." I said shyly remembering they all saw my little outburst. Dunn sat down grabbing the remote flipping on the TV.

"That's the first place we looked." I looked up seeing my dad holding a pizza in his hands smiling down at me, but his eyes were sad. I jumped up climbing over the couch right into his arms wrapping them tightly around him.

"Don't Drop the pizza!" Some yelled before my dad tightly wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't help but to start to cry, I felt so bad for him. He rested his chin on the top of my head not saying anything, he just hugged me.

"Daddy I'm sorry I'm such a pain." I mumbled not wanting to let him go.

"Angel your not a pain, you're my daughter, I love you no matter what." He said softly running his fingers throw my hair. I pulled back looking at him feeling like I was a little girl again. I could tell he was a little chocked up.

"I love you too daddy. I'm really glad I'm home." I said smiling at him walking away to the kitchen. I heard my dad whisper to Emmett.

"Did you say Home as in she is staying?"

"Yeah dad, I think she is." Emmett whispered back. I smiled to myself walking into the kitchen seeing Bam sitting at the table with a beer in his hand. He looked up then looked away from me, I pulled out some plates knowing I wanted to talk to him and apologize but I didn't know how to. Everyone walked into the kitchen not even bringing anything up, it was like it never happened.

"Hey Izzy B what do you have planned tomorrow?" Dunn asked before shoving his face with pizza.

"I don't have plans, well actually I should look for a job, I quite my last one after ugh, after.." I started to stuttered not ever having to say actually say it.

"It's ok, Izzy, you don't have to say it." Steve-O said winking over at me. I looked at my dad who gave me a pitiful smile. I was about to move on to the next conversation but I looked up to see Bam watching me, He shook his head looking away and all I could her was hi mentally calling me a chicken, and that not saying it is running away, I didn't want to run from it anymore.

"I quite my Job after James was killed because I worked with all his friends and I know they all blamed me." I blurted out scanning the room for reactions my eyes rested on bam who was looking at me with a straight face. Everyone got quite eating their food. "Can we not act like I'm not a murder?" I spat seeing every one's eyes suddenly on their plates. I started to feel like my chest was slowly cutting off my air supply.

"Your not a murder, Someone cared enough to save you, taking his own life in the process." Bam was the one to finally say something.

"I was driving, He told me to slow down." I said looking only at Bam, He stared back.

" He took his seat belt off when he saw the car was going to flip, He knew what he was doing." Bam, gave me a half smile picking up his beer.

"No one else see's it that way." I hung my head low for the first time admitting it to myself. James is gone, He won't come back no matter what I say or do.

"Then there a bunch of asses and if you ask me." Bam said raising his beer before taking a drink. I looked around at all the guys, stopping looking at my dad trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

"He's gone, James Is really gone, It doesn't even feel like it but he is, There was nothing I could do, oh my god, James." I whispered mostly to myself but everyone heard it. " You know what the last thing he said to me was?" I asked surprised the tears haven't started yet. Emmett tossed an arm around my shoulder pulling me to him for comfort.

"What sis, what did he say?" Emmett whispered while everyone looking at me with different expressions.

"He said, Baby G" I laughed to myself looking around. "That was his nick name for me, But anyway he said No matter where I end up, I'll always love you, Promise me you'll always love me, it's you and me against the world. " The tears start to escape now, I looked over at Bam seeing him sitting there staring off into space. "How do you love ghost?" I asked taking a napkin from Dunn, I whipped my tears away sniffling. "I walked around not letting it seep in that he was gone it was easier that way, All I know how to do is run when things get hard, Run, To him, I don't have him anymore, who do I run to now." I closed my eyes for the first time letting the pain of James death hit me, I have been numb for so long I never let his death effect me. " I'm sorry, I can't do this right now." I got up walking away, I heard low whispers but I didn't care enough to look back. I was half way to the staris when someone pulled my hand dragging me into a hug.

"YOU RUN TO US!" Jonny said hugging me, before I knew it I was being hugged by everyone, I was in the middle of a huge group hug. I couldn't help but to laugh a little.

"Yeah Izzy B we got your back." Steve-o said while Johnny let me go, I was being passed around to everyone. Everyone but Bam that is, Once they were done hugging me I had looked for him but he was still sitting in the kitchen opening another beer.

"I'm sorry Angel , I know how hard losing him must be." My dad said being the last to hug me; I nodded my head hugging him back.

"I'm sorry guys, but I a mess, I don't know what I'm doing, but I feel better about doing it." I said with a weak smile.

"Well as long as whatever your doing has to do with you doing it here, then we don't care, and stop saying your sorry Little sis you have nothing to say sorry for." Emmett said with confidence leaning against the couch.

"I plan on it, I guess I will hit up a few tattoo shops around here tomorrow see if anyone is hiring." I said with a sigh knowing tomorrow was the start of my new life. The life I was meant to live, well at least with the people I was supposed to live it with.

"Tattoo? You do tats?" Steve-o pushed his way through to me with a huge smile. I laughed nodding my head.

"Yeah, well mostly piercings, but yeah I do some Ink too." I smiled proudly for myself.

"Well have I got the guy for you to meet tomorrow, He has a shop not too far from here, He was just telling me he needed a piercer." I looked at him like he was kidding, but he wasn't steve-o said he could get me a job with a guy he knows, I guess the guy has done most of his work and a few of the guys work too.

The whole night I tossed and turned falling asleep but waking up covering my mouth hoping they didn't hear the screams. I kept dreaming the same dreams, it was the accident over and over, Only different, Bam was there, he was the one saving me, pulling me out of the car, begging me to leave James behind, telling me he was dead and that I needed to save myself. I screamed because just as Bam would have me convinced, I would walk away hearing James cry out my name in pain.


End file.
